At the beginning of my own healing journey, I lived mainly in my overthinking, anxious head. Even after I left London and began travelling in 2014, I still took that version with me. In spite of living in many communities throughout the years, I felt largely isolated and lonely because I was scared of intimacy and could not share myself in an authentic, vulnerable way.
It was only when I arrived in Mexico in 2021 that my body, heart and spirit intuited that it was time. Time for me to drop all the roles I’d played and bring into consciousness, the trauma hidden behind the masks.
And so began the most painful, challenging, exhilarating and profound part of my journey by far. I gave myself space to properly feel all my emotions: my grief, anger, shame, guilt and jealousy. My gratitude, enthusiasm, satisfaction, happiness and joy. I embraced them all whilst practising and refining all the techniques I’d learnt, during the past 15 years, to help anchor and integrate the transformation.
Now, I acknowledge my needs and am able to communicate them. I can state my boundaries gently with love. I can be strong without being hyper-independent and controlling. I show my tender, vulnerable side with more ease. And even though I live alone and am by myself quite a lot, I’ve been the happiest I’ve ever been and feel conversely, connected to everything and everyone.
If you recognise yourself in my story and would like support in discovering and embodying your own authenticity, allow me to share with you my methods for coming home to yourself.
Please visit my website: https://msha.ke/anukayau for more information.